I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
