Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
