Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
