I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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