I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
