I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
