the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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