Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
