I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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