something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
