I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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