Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
