I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
