And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
