His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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