She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
