my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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