we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
