And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
