We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
