real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
