Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
