you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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