I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Drake has all the answers
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
