Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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