So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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