don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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