Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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