I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
