I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
40s are totally the cure
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i out mim tonsoeep
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
