Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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