he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
