TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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