nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
