Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
