how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
