My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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