walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You ruined the universe
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
