its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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