If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize