I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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