too bad you live with your parents still
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
