Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
