We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
