I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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