He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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