I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Last time i carry you out of a forest
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
