Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
