They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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