It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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