All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
