Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
