How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
