So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
