I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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