she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
