when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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