: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
