just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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