i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
