I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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